Tuesday, April 2024, Johannesburg, South Africa: In a bold move to challenge societal norms, Father A Nation, a leading non-profit organisation (NPO), released an emotive video in response to DSTV’s humorous Chasing the Sun 2 promo spoof, stirring polarised and critical public dialogue about the cultural norms around men showing emotion.
The trending DSTV spoof, which broke South Africa’s internet following its release ahead of the documentary’s premier, is based on a fictitious, albeit humorous insight that South African men only cry while watching Chasing the Sun. Rooted in research by The American Psychological Association, the original video highlights the stark contrast in emotional expression between men and women.
Inspired by the spoof, and the belief that men have a healthy need to cry more often, Father A Nation released a video encouraging men to man-up enough to embrace vulnerability and express emotion, because it takes more courage to shed tears than to hide them.
Featuring some of the 300 000 men who have taken part in Father A Nation’s programmes to promote positive masculinity and stand against abuse, the video is a tribute to the true champions of our nation – South African men who have the courage to be vulnerable and express authentic emotion.
The men featured in the video talk about the last time they cried – with these events ranging from the death of a friend to the time their child was ill, and the clip goes on to tell the story of how these men transformed their lives after having found healing by embracing vulnerability.
“Harm to others, and to self, is a very real fallout of failure to express emotion,” says Craig Wilkinson, CEO and founder of Father A Nation. According to research by the American Psychological Association, women cry emotional tears 30-64 times annually, while the global average for men stands at just 10 times a year.
“Men are far less likely to talk about their feelings or seek help when they are struggling – and the results are disastrous. Men are also four times more likely to die by suicide and we see that failure to vent their emotions can make them more violent and abusive,” notes Wilkinson.
“We are hoping to start a cultural shift encouraging embracing vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. Men’s ‘toughness’ is so deeply entrenched in our culture that there is even a vernacular term, ‘indoda ayikhali’, translating to ‘men don’t cry’,” he adds.
Be that as it may, many men are welcoming the call to be more transparent: the NPO’s video has received an overwhelmingly positive response, racking up even more engagement and comments on TikTok than the original spoof. Many of these comments point to just how badly men want to enjoy emotional freedom, with one viewer commenting “Wow, this is amazing. Real men cry,” and a woman saying, “Our men also deserve the grace simply to be human.”
Among the most telling comments was the narrative that, “This is what our country needs. We cannot begin to imagine a nation that’s healed if we don’t heal our men.” A few heated exchanges highlighted the connection between repressed pain and Gender Based Violence with one man stating, “We don’t have time to cry”, and a woman replying sharply, “Make the time – until you do, you will never stop killing us.”
Father A Nation believes that ‘Wounded men become men who wound, and that if we heal men, we can heal society,'” says Wilkinson. “Our programmes have been working to eradicate the root causes of gender-based violence, crime, and fatherlessness in SA over the past 14 years, so that we can raise the next generation of men who will contribute to a safe and prosperous country for all.”
Praising the influence of cultural icons like the Springboks and individuals like coach Rassie Erasmus, who have openly expressed their emotions, Father A Nation celebrates those who lead by example and challenge traditional notions of masculinity.
True courage lies in shedding tears and confronting emotions head-on. Wilkinson believes that embracing vulnerability will help break the cycle of abuse and create a society where all individuals feel safe and valued.
“Every man has the potential to be a champion of positive change and we invite all men to join us in this journey towards a more compassionate and empathetic society,” Wilkinson concludes.
Visit www.fatheranation.co.za to find out more.